"I love you baby," Rich nuzzled me awake.
"Mmmmm," I snuggled closer, not wanting to open my eyes. I have a sort of arrangement with the world that if I don't open my eyes, it's technically not morning, and I don't have to get up.
He kissed me on the ear.
"I made a mistake last night," I mumbled sleepily.
"You did?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "What did you do?"
"It was really late so I was tired. I washed my face, then used this blue stuff that you put on cotton balls that takes off any residue. Except that I forgot that I had rearranged the medicine cabinet." I sighed. "It turns out I rubbed my face down with Listerine."
Laughing, Rich sniffed my face.
"Do I smell minty fresh?" I yawned, grabbing his arm and pulling it around my waist.
"You smell great baby," he squeezed me tight, still grinning.
"I figured it was okay--it's mostly alcohol anyway." I rubbed my face with one hand. "I think it actually got rid of that pimple thingy on my cheek."
He inspected my cheek. "You know, I think you're right."
"Cool." I said, tucking this away for future reference. "I may have hit upon one of those model secrets or something. Like using hemmoroid cream on puffy eyes."
"You put hemmoroid creme on your eyes?" My husband looked startled. "Never mind, I don't want to know." He gave me a deep kiss then stood up. "I have to get going babe."
"'Kay, 'kay." I yawned again. "Love you."
"Love you too. See you tonight."
At the door he turned around to look at me thoughtfully.
"Hemmoroid creme?"
"Uh huh."
He hesitated. "The egg in the bathroom?" he asked.
"Hair," I told him, "makes it bouncy and shiny."
"And the Milk of Magnesia?"
"Face mask."
"Those two round pink stones?"
"Ummmmm." I wriggled uncomfortably. "Girl thing. Can't tell you about that one."
There are just some things a woman just has to keep secret.
9 comments:
Ha! That's so funny!
I have really begun to look forward to checking your blog for a touching laugh!
Thanks!
Aaaahh after all these months I've been searching a way to take away my brand new puffy eyes and now you tell me is with Hemorroid cream?? OH hell no, I'm not using that!
ROTFL - now you must be careful where you decide to use your.. ahem... secrets Juno. Do you know about this story?
Jamie - awwww . . . thanks.
Yoli - I'm telling you, the stuff really works!
Sharon - I do. I highly recommend marrying a man with a great sense of humor.
Spirit - That's a terrible story! Poor woman. Now what in the world made you think my secret was remotely connected to that? *cough, cough*
So THATS what those things are used for. :)
Great post!
Why does Mrs. Danger have two razors and still use mine?
Yep! The P-H does work for those saggy, baggy eyes!
Hmmmmm.....you mean to tell me they come in colors other than chrome???? LOL
Hi Brian, Nick, Katheryn and Seamus!
I learned many boyfriends ago never to use a man's razor. Otherwise he ends up looking very grumpy and socially unacceptable with little pieces of tissue paper stuck allover his face.
As for the pink stones. . . well that's another story for another time. Or maybe not. A story line like that woud send this blog spinning off in a whole direction!
I love kathrynhowlswithwolves. Has a great ring to it.
Hooooooowwwwwwlllllll!!!!!!!
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