Sunday, June 05, 2005

I'll Be Watching You

"Are either one of you organ donors?" My son asked from the back seat of the car.

My husband and I looked at each other."Yes," I said. "No," he said, simultaneously.

We all laughed. It was typical for me and Rich to have completely opposite world views. It's what keeps our marriage interesting.

"I figured as much," my son grinned. “I don’t know how you two ever got together.”

I turned around in the front seat. "Seriously though, anything of mine that could be useful to anyone, I want donated."

"You mean organs like your heart or lungs or something?" Brian raised an eyebrow at me.

"Or my corneas or anything else."

"Your CORNEAS?" my son was clearly disturbed by this bit of news.

He looked at Rich, who shrugged. "I've given up on trying to talk sense to her about this stuff."

"But her CORNEAS?" he asked again in disbelief.

"Sure," I told him. "They do cornea transplants all the time."

Brian sat back against the seat and shook his head. "That's just wrong, mom."

"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.

"Well, first of all, “ he said earnestly, “they've done studies with transplant patients where sometimes the memories of the donor transfer to the person receiving the organ. It's freaky. Vegetarians start craving chicken nuggets, lumberjacks start wearing pink, weird stuff like that."

I nodded. "I know. I read those studies too, Bri. What was that author’s name again? Pearsall, I think it was. But its not like I'm a serial killer or have any bizarre traits to pass on or anything."

My husband cleared his throat but didn't say a word. I shot him a look.

"On top of that," Brian continued. "The whole idea is freaky. I mean what if I ended up dating a girl and found out that you had donated your corneas to her? " He shuddered. "We would be doing something, and suddenly I'd look at her and see your eyes looking back at me. It's just wrong."

I laughed. "Let me get this straight. You don't want me to donate any body parts because you're afraid they will go to a girl that you may someday end up dating?"

"Uh huh. Especially the eye thing."

I batted my eyes at my son. "Hey there, big boy."

"MOM!" Brian yelled, disgusted.

My husband cracked up. He loves it when I tease someone else for a change.

"It's kind of interesting actually," I turned the idea around in my head. "Say, for instance, she asked you to pick up some towels you left on the bathroom floor. You just wouldn't know, would you? Is that her being tidy, or me nagging you from the grave? And in terms of sex---"

"STOP!" Rich and Brian shouted at the same time.

I looked at them innocently. "I was just saying. . . "

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahaha!
You are too funny! ;) "I was just saying. . . " Bwahahaha!

The Complimenting Commenter said...

That was so funny. I can picture your son squirming in his seat trying to get visuals out of his head. Thanks for such a great post.

Spirit Of Owl said...

I can only echo Seamus... and the complimenter!

It turns out you like to mentally distress all the men in your life...! :p

Juno said...

Thanks Seamus and Complimenter. As for you Spirit,I do NOT mentally distress the men in my life. I just bring imagination and fun!

Spirit Of Owl said...

I'm sure that's what they think too! ;)

anne said...

I'm sure there's something really really, I mean really wrong in that conversation, but hey, who cares?! Funny stuff indeed.

Jstar718 said...

You are soo Much FUN! LOL!

Queen on the run said...

I was impressed actually of your sons train of thought. I would never have thought of something like that. I too am listed as an organ donor. I agree with your son though. I wouldn't want my corneas to go to a guy one of my daughters might date.(shivers)....eech.

Kat said...

Having seen a cornea removal....I'm not worried about it...I did find it interesting that the cornea is where the eye color is, kinda. Ok, enough of that grossnessess....

I love the ability you have to torment those you love...you're my kind of woman! Keeps those boys on their toes!

Anonymous said...

oh my god you're just hilarious.
Your kid is definitely freaked out, not because of the cornea transplant but because of the "sex" word coming out of your mouth haha.

MoMo said...

I often feel ashamed that I haven't registered to donate - truth is, I'm not sure what's useful:)

When i was young there was a punk band called the Adverts who's only hit song was "Looking through Gary Gilmore's Eyes" - you can probably guess the rest!

I love your your blog - here through Kat.

Juno said...

Ann, Jstar, Queen,kat, Yoli --you always make me laugh. And hi Cali. Now I'm going to have to hunt down that song!